Hello, friends at Amanda Lynne Designs. I’m so excited that Amanda invited me to join you all today. My name is Lindsy and I write over at Space for Joy. I’m the stay-at-home Mama of two little boys, Jude (22 months) and Isaac (7 months). The reason I write is simple. I’m passionate about sharing life. We need it, ladies. Whatever it is each of us are going through, we’re not alone.
|Photo credit | Brooke Collier Photo | October 2011|
I’m not one to casually give out marriage advice. My husband and I are quick to say that our 6.5 years together has been filled continual re-centering on the Lord and loads of apologies and grace. I’m more likely to be the one scouring my google reader for advice on how other people make their relationship a priority in a season overwhelmed by diapers and whiny toddlers and sleepless nights.
It’s not easy. It takes intention. Time. Selflessness like you wouldn’t believe.
Add kids in the mix and that takes it to a whole new level.
Suddenly, the dinner conversations changed and the evening that was once full of possibilities had a strict routine. And once 7:30 hit and the sweet, exhausting, child of mine was in bed, I was ready to succumb to anything that required zero effort.
It wasn’t long before we realized that “connecting” wasn’t just going to happen anymore. We weren’t going to just share our hearts over dinner and dream in the evenings together. The season where our relationship just naturally continued to grow was over. Now, dare I say it, our relationship took work.
What works for me may work for others although it may not. We resisted the idea of needing to schedule time to truly love on and connect with one another, but in the end our marriage needed it. My heart and quality-time-love-language desperately needed it.
So we blocked off every Wednesday night. Taken. Written in ink. Wednesday night is sacredly protected for us. To put us first. To pray. To rub feet. To make plans. To dream. To pursue oneness. To build into our marriage. To put our titles of Mommy and Daddy on the back-burner to remember that we are also Husband and Wife.
Just like love, I think that marriage is thing you do. It’s proactive. Intentional. Selfless. If it isn’t these things, it too quickly becomes cohabiting instead. We’ve been there, and that is a slippery slope we try our hardest to avoid.
The truth is, when it comes to running a family, none of it is going to go well if I’m not focused on my marriage first. I can’t be a good mom without being a good wife. I can’t point my kids towards Christ if my marriage doesn’t reflect Him. And how can explain grace to another when I am not focused on knowing and extending grace to my closest loved one?
Our calendar is often chock full, as it often is with two people who love to serve and struggle with saying, “no”. (We’re getting better.) But we can put a date on the calendar. Scheduled connect time. It keeps our marriage breathing. And keeps us feeling loved.
For this gift of Wednesdays, I am thankful.